i really like blogging.
i think it has opened up my world in so many ways. i have met absolutely amazing people with beautiful ideas, perspectives, and incredible talents that i could only dream of possessing. there is so much creativity in the blogosphere, and i just want to suck it all up.
and i enjoy documenting things here and having the accountability of my small audience.
but then there's the part of blogging that i hate, and that i'd hope i could avoid a little longer.
the standards that to be "successful," you must have a professional quality photo in each of your posts, that you should write about things and places in which others are interested, that you must do these five things to increase readership.
i don't care all that much about being "successful" because above all, i created this blog to document my 30x30 and what means the most to me is the interactions between myself and my fellow bloggers and blog readers.
and so, i can't help but feel hurt that since leaving and coming back from china that the level of interaction has been nowhere near where it was before i left. it made me feel like maybe if i would've done a better job of taking pictures and posting things everyday during my trip, this wouldn't have happened.
but i didn't.
i honestly left most of the picture-taking to cefion. a lot of the time i didn't even take my phone out of my pocket because i let myself fall into everything that surrounded me. but now, as i sit to compose these posts that were supposed to be some sort of "proof" of this amazing vacation, i realize that not only are my pictures few and far between, but the quality is not even that great, and definitely not to a blogger's standards.
i'm frustrated because i feel like i have so much i want to see, do, and live, and i want to share everything in this space, but i am just not willing to stop every 10 seconds to snap a picture of it. and without pictures, there's no views, there's no comments, and there's no interaction.
i wish i could let you all have a peek into this life i am trying to create because i feel as though i have grown and seen so much, but none of it is picture-perfect enough, pinnable enough, or hashtag-worthy enough, and therefore, it isn't real in blogland.
i don't know the solution to any of this. i am stuck trying to find that balance between the real and blogging worlds, and i have to say that my real world seems like it's starting to win out.